Monday, April 28, 2008

siblings and house





A little free time in the midst of the work madness. Its like sailing towards the storm. Hence the pic...hehehe.


Had a good weekend. I worked Saturday (but, of course!). Met a friend who related the story of her cousin who had suffered two strokes within a week. The cousin had money but it was all in his name and accounts so it was a problem to the family trying to get access to the funds to place him in the private hospital. The story haunted me and as soon as I got home I asked sil to bring me the nomination papers to my investments. Better play it safe.


Sunday morning my brother took us all to see yet another potential house to purchase. Its a two and a half storey, 5 bedroom 4 bathroom house less than 10 minutes from my mum's place. The building is 80% complete. I was ok with the house but was a little worried about the many stairs to climb. The main thing is my bro and sil liked it. They will be dealing with the bank loan anyways. We are just glad that they managed to find a house so close to mum's. They had lost out to the bidding of the family house to my sister who says she wants to buy the house to let mum continue living there for the rest of her life.


Thursday, April 24, 2008

dizzy


Its been a crazy week.
I was so distracted by the going ons that I even signed a personal cheque and dated it 2004. How I wish!!!

Work has taken up most of my time. Its the busy period again (actually, when is it not?). However, it has not reached its peak so I have to save my energy and stamina for that. I estimate that it will take another 3 weeks before this work tsunami is over. Then I will slow down my pace for one week and then..... its vacation time. Yes!!!
I am not terribly excited about the vacation as I would have normally been. According to discussions, this vacation was supposed to be the culmination of what the past decade had been about. It looks like thats never going to happen.
So prolly its the ending (the real ending) is going to be on show next.
"Dizzy, u' re making me dizzy my head is spinning. Like a whirlpool it never ends...."


Thursday, April 17, 2008

personal panic attack



Sudden panic!
I looked at the dates and realised that I am one day past my dateline to apply for time off to go see JAR. That is IF I need to do the travelling.
He is supposed to travel to see me this time. He fell ill. His brother was diagnosed with cancer. He procrastinated. He became involved with a possible major purchase. He was unwell again.
Time passed at where he was.
I was unwell. I was busy. I was stressed. I became unwell again due to the stress.
Time passed on this side of the world too.
Now JAR is away in another city to see an exhibition or something for work. I managed to get thru via a phone call to relate my panic attack on the dates. His phone had only one bar of battery left. He had forgotten to pack the charger. Geeezzz must everything go wrong on the same date? I made him promise to find a computer to email me a reply. I had of course emailed him 3 times since my panic started.
Now I am awaiting his reply. What if he cannot get thru via the computer? He only flies back tomorrow. One more day wasted. Me being me I decided to do something. I sent in a letter to the boss requesting for time off. I told the clerk to not hand in the letter to the boss as yet but to acknowledge its receipt. (Clever me, trying to beat the dateline.) I have bought myself one more day.
Not bad for a panic attck day.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Looking for a hero



Feeling 'somewhere in the middle'. Not happy. Not sad. Not enthuastic. Not upset.


Almost feeling of nothingness. Maybe this how the astronauts feel physically when suspended in space.




I need some excitement in my life. Like fireworks in the dark sky.



Like when the missing hero finally appears in the movie. He comes to save the day; he comes to carry the heroine into the sunset.




But where is he?




God! Right now I need a superhero.


WHERE is he?



Thursday, April 10, 2008

Today

It started with my hurt being hurt.

I wanted to run away but I knew that that wont help.

I needed to do something, hopefully something positive.









I started to write an email.




As I wrote, I began to feel anger.

Besides the pain there was a new feeling that I needed to be rid off.

I wrote away the feelings.












After writing my feelings away, I felt exhausted

True exhaustion.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Over!

Today I asked JAR if he seriously wants to be with me.
He said one part says yes and the other part was wondering if its practical. He says that my family will be across the world if we were to live together. He asks if that would be fair.

He has answered my question.
If he truly loves me he would have worked out a way to BE my family.
How then would I have been alone across the world?

I can now move on and plan my life.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Being Stars


Sometimes I wonder about being alone.


But then there are many who have lived their lives that way. Lets see.


There's Michael Jackson. He must be quite a lonely person even though he has lived through millions of dollars in his life time. However, Michael has three kids. Somehow I dont think he would be totally alone anymore. His money may not be as plentiful as it used to be but I am sure he is not so alone any more. Kids have a way of making your life full somehow.





Britney must be lonelier than Michael. She doesnt even have her kids even though she has there paparazi around her almost daily. However, she still has the opportunity for making a comeback so if she has any ambitions, she has something to look forwards to. She has lived quite a life for the young age she is. I remember the days when she was reported to be corresponding with Prince Williams. She definitely has not lived a fantasy princess' life, has she?





Speaking of Prince William reminds me of his late mom. Princess Diana, the epitome of beauty, fame and being alone inspite of it all.


She married the toad prince and he turned out to be a crocodile.


How much lonelier can u get if u are beautiful, rich, famous and can really trust none of the guys that u love?


She does have two wonderful sons though. Lets hope they live a more loved-life than their gorgeous mom.



Marilyn Monroe.


She died so long ago. Yet she lives in the memories and desires of so many pubescent males.

To be wanted cos of the way your body looks is seriously a rotten way to be desired.








Then there's me.


How will my life be?






I dont want to end up like any of the above celebrities.

I want to live my life being in love.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Beach



We spent the weekend at the beach!

Its a one and a half hour drive away. We went to a newly opened hotel that is built IN the sea. It has an open bathroom concept with glass floors that u could see the sea right in the bedroom! Needless to say it wasnt a cheap stay but Mom decided to treat me and my brother's family. Lucky us!

We rented an MPV so that everyone could fit in just one big car. I was given the honours of sitting right at the back...all alone except for the luggage. It was a fun drive. Initially my two little nieces were restless and starting crying. But soon they fell asleep and we had a smooth ride all the way. Its so good to go away even if its only for the weekend. My last vacation was in November. Yes, its been a long stretch of work days.

My brother took us straight to lunch at Fried Chicken outlet. We had arrived one hour before check in timt so we had plenty of time to eat.

When we got to the hotel, the boo-boo began. We were told (even though it was by then after the check in time) that the rooms were not yet ready. We waited a half hour (during which time I went to the lobby shop and got me a beach hat that little niece A calls 'your silly hat'), and yet the room was still not ready. I told my brother that it was time to make noise. We both went to another reception clerk (the first one was an Indian who kept repeating the "room is not ready" mantra). The second clerk was, thank goodness, more efficient and to appease us immediately upgraded us all to better rooms.

So we had our better grade rooms and the whole troop went in to unwind and rest.

What I love about this getaway is the quality time I got to spend with my mom. We are both early risers (unlike the rest) so we sat on the balcony sipping our horlicks and watched the sun rise the next morning. We talked about stuff and basically just enjoyed the other's company. This was the supreme highlight of that weekend.

I woked up my SIL vis sms...urging everyone to get ready for the swimming pool. Tiny niece S was still asleep so I decided to wake her up by singing and dancing nursery rhymes. The cute little chipmunk opened her eyes, smiled and started to dance as well. She stood up and continued her dance. This was another highlight!

We all got to the pool and played in the kiddies area. Little A was a little scared initially but overcame that soon enough till she did not want to leave the pool at all. By the way, we were all in our new swim suits and were a bunch of very good looking goons!

Soon it was time for breakfast. The hotel had a good spread and some good tasting food.

I wish that there will be many more holiday breaks that my family and I can enjoy together.

Its not the length of the holiday that matters that the most fun that u can derive from it!