Monday, June 23, 2008

Looking into a future that is now being built


If anyone's been reading my blog, they might assume that I have gone into hiding and am very sad at the turn of things.

It could not have been more different.

I am still in touch with JAR. He has (touchingly!) started to use my native language when he writes to me. Years ago I gave him a tape/book on this but we never did get him to actually use that. He has a flair with languages. He speaks some Spanish (to the housekeeper). He taught himself Italian just cos he visited that country and at one point no English speaking person was around to help him communicate.

I was most surprised to receive an email in my language from him. I replied (in same language).

I hope he keeps that up and maybe get to be an expert on another language.


Home wise, alot of changes have begun. Mom has gotten a contractor to do up the back wing into her new abode. It will be beautiful when its done. But right now the house is dusty and noisy with all the walls being broken down. Brother and SIL and nieces spend more time at mom's house now that its almost theirs.

Me? I have started the slow painful task of cleaning and packing my stuff. I move them in my suitcase. My suitcase is always in my car and I drive up to the condo to deposit its contents whenever I can find the time. Its a backbreaking task but I am enjoying it. I also automatically get to exercise in the process.

The condo needs cleaning but currently I do not have the time for that. Its pack, drive, deposit time for right now.

JAR is doing up the house he bought. I think he is also excited about that.

I am looking forwards to the changes that has started taking place in my life.

Work is going great. Last week I was awarded best presenter in a workshop held at work.

Great feelings both at work, home and life.

I didnt think it could be this good.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

End

Tonight I take the flight home.
Last night JAR and I had a disagreement about where we are heading to.
We are not thinking in the same direction. Its time to let go. After more than a decade.
Woke up this morning feeling tired and sad.
As usual we communicated again and shared hugs.
JAR then drove me to see the 'house of future dreams'
He continued to dream of things to do to improve it and make it habitable,
I stood at his side and knew that I was not included in the future picture.
The decision stands ..... I leave, thankful for the experience, looking forwards to a different future.