The difference........

I have no daughters of my own but I have 4 lovely nieces.
I imagine (how I wish!) that maybe someday one of them at least might ask me about relationships and guys.
In this short lifetime, I cannot boast of much experience in this matter but what little we learn can be a big education for others to follow.

In my observation, the difference between a real man and a guy is that....

• a real man wants to get to know the real you - he will find out about you; who you are, what you are, where you want to head to. He will look into your past not to judge you but because it will help him understand why you are you. He knows your real name, calls you by your name and not just 'girl or darling or baby' - when a guy does that all the time it could mean he might have so many girls around that its easier to use those terms to avoid a mix up. Clever but also stupid move.
• a real man will remember you - he does not just remember what you like or want just at the start of the relationship but it is better if he starts remembering it after you have been together for a while. This shows that he really cares and is not just trying to win you over as most guys do at the start of getting to know someone. When a guy knows that you like ice cream, a certain type of chocolates, places you love to eat at, etc, it means he is aware of you as a person. That is important. If he is just aware of you as just a body, like in what clothes he loves to see you in but is not aware of what is inside that body and mind, then you should tell him to just get a clothes hanger cos they do the same job.
• a real man sometimes gets hidden behind his good self - this unfortunately is so true. The wolves always show their better side that we women often get misled. The real man after a while seems to not pay you enough attention. You must ensure that he gets out of this phase. Its an on-going process.
• a real man does not give up on you easily - if you, my nieces are anything like your aunt, then I do pity the poor man. However, if you have met a real man, you will find that he will hang in there with you no matter how tough the going gets, even if YOU are the reason why it got tough in the first place. But one advice here, one reason he does hang in there is because YOU must make it worthwhile for him to do so. The way you love and care for the real man will make him value you so much that he wont give up so easily. Remember the role you play is of most importance in a relationship.
• a real man has a good set of values and he respects you for your set of values no matter how different they are from his - this is especially apparent when you are with someone from a different religion, culture or country. But even those do not differ from yours, any other human will also have some differences in values. I have known so many people from other cultures, met some very good people but there are people whose basic understanding is to ridicule people who have a different lifestyle. Please avoid these types. I, of course, do not eat pork but when I am abroad and living with friends there I have gone out for dinner with them where I eat what I can eat whilst they enjoy some pork stuff on their plate. They understand that I will never eat that and they do not cook that for me but I too understand that that is what they consider their food. Someone I know and care about even goes to the extent of specifically mentioning that he uses turkey bacon whenever he puts up pics of his cooking on FB. He really is a real man. On the other hand, I have a friend who has lived in this country for a few years but the strange thing is he kind of ridicules the fact that we do not eat pork. Heyyy.... you have your food and I have mine.
• a real man is not hard to find - actually I do not know if this is true. I hold on to the principle that as long as a person is human, he is open to change. Sometimes the guy you meet is just a guy and not a real man. But do remember that he might just develop into one. It is also important that you must develop into a real woman so that it will be worth his while too. Good luck my little ones.
  

Renovations

Its been a while since I have blogged.
The contractors have completed the renovations on my office.
Monday I shall fully move back in ........there's quite a bit of work to be done since the computers and stuff needs the technical people to move them.
As expected, nothing fancy was really done but the room does have new flooring and air conditioning system placed in.
There is also a heavy new door that I am not too fond of - no one can hear u scream if u ever find urself needing help by screaming.

I like my own room.
I was ok in the temporary room but it was not 'home'

A lot has happened in the past almost 6 months that it took for the room to be renovated.
Relationships, family, life.
Like the room, I hope the 'renovations' will have more plus points than minus ones.

Do not accept excuses, instead give choices!

Friday I went to my mom's as usual.
She appears slightly better and I did not give her a chance to wallow in her pain. Yes, she's had some serious physical downturn recently but there is also some aftermath that is more phobic in nature.

We got a massage lady (who is really a nurse who works at the private hospital where she stayed during her dengue bout) to come and give her a luxurious relaxing time. She enjoys that.

Mom also gets visits from her other children and grandkids and I know that keeps her happy. For a couple of weeks she had refused to see TV or let us buy her newspapers. These two are her most favorite daily routines and it was difficult to see her just sit and not do that. Her excuse was she just gets dizzy.
This weekend she was watching a little TV :-)
On Saturday, before leaving, I went out and bought her a newspaper and refused to listen to her excuses of not wanting it. I just said, "the paper is not a headache giver, if u feel weak, dont read it. If u feel ok, maybe u can just see some of it." :-)
Thats what I mean when I say that I just wont accept her excuses. Instead I give her choices.

I will be working on Sunday this week so I have to return to the condo early. I contacted my niece and we discussed possibilities of a year end holiday. Being optimistic, I am hoping my mom will be well enough by December for a short break.
Who know?
Being positive is what keeps me going.