Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The difference........

I have no daughters of my own but I have 4 lovely nieces.
I imagine (how I wish!) that maybe someday one of them at least might ask me about relationships and guys.
In this short lifetime, I cannot boast of much experience in this matter but what little we learn can be a big education for others to follow.

In my observation, the difference between a real man and a guy is that....
  • a real man wants to get to know the real you - he will find out about you; who you are, what you are, where you want to head to. He will look into your past not to judge you but because it will help him understand why you are you. He knows your real name, calls you by your name and not just 'girl or darling or baby' - when a guy does that all the time it could mean he might have so many girls around that its easier to use those terms to avoid a mix up. Clever but also stupid move.
  • a real man will remember you - he does not just remember what you like or want just at the start of the relationship but it is better if he starts remembering it after you have been together for a while. This shows that he really cares and is not just trying to win you over as most guys do at the start of getting to know someone. When a guy knows that you like ice cream, a certain type of chocolates, places you love to eat at, etc, it means he is aware of you as a person. That is important. If he is just aware of you as just a body, like in what clothes he loves to see you in but is not aware of what is inside that body and mind, then you should tell him to just get a clothes hanger cos they do the same job.
  • a real man sometimes gets hidden behind his good self - this unfortunately is so true. The wolves always show their better side that we women often get misled. The real man after a while seems to not pay you enough attention. You must ensure that he gets out of this phase. Its an on-going process.
  • a real man does not give up on you easily - if you, my nieces are anything like your aunt, then I do pity the poor man. However, if you have met a real man, you will find that he will hang in there with you no matter how tough the going gets, even if YOU are the reason why it got tough in the first place. But one advice here, one reason he does hang in there is because YOU must make it worthwhile for him to do so. The way you love and care for the real man will make him value you so much that he wont give up so easily. Remember the role you play is of most importance in a relationship.
  • a real man has a good set of values and he respects you for your set of values no matter how different they are from his - this is especially apparent when you are with someone from a different religion, culture or country. But even those do not differ from yours, any other human will also have some differences in values. I have known so many people from other cultures, met some very good people but there are people whose basic understanding is to ridicule people who have a different lifestyle. Please avoid these types. I, of course, do not eat pork but when I am abroad and living with friends there I have gone out for dinner with them where I eat what I can eat whilst they enjoy some pork stuff on their plate. They understand that I will never eat that and they do not cook that for me but I too understand that that is what they consider their food. Someone I know and care about even goes to the extent of specifically mentioning that he uses turkey bacon whenever he puts up pics of his cooking on FB. He really is a real man. On the other hand, I have a friend who has lived in this country for a few years but the strange thing is he kind of ridicules the fact that we do not eat pork. Heyyy.... you have your food and I have mine.
  • a real man is not hard to find - actually I do not know if this is true. I hold on to the principle that as long as a person is human, he is open to change. Sometimes the guy you meet is just a guy and not a real man. But do remember that he might just develop into one. It is also important that you must develop into a real woman so that it will be worth his while too. Good luck my little ones.

3 Comments:

Blogger Terry said...

oh june..this is such a good write up of the advise to your nieces.
what a caring auntie you are!
the only reason that i joined face book is so that i have contact with my nieces and nephews.
bernie and i have no children of our own so we like to keep an eye and a hearing ear to those kids!
they mean so much to us. the oldest is rachel who is almost 38 and the youngest is olivia who is almost two months old[our great niece].
thank you for such a great post that i can tell the girls about!
bernie met all of these good characters that you put here.
june, several of my nieces and nephews and one of my sisters are vegetarian and i try my best when we have a family gathering of the clan to make them something that they can eat...for all of the rest they eat my scalloped potatoes, cabbage rolls, meat balls or shepherds pie!...i don't care for pork either and both bernie and i REFUSE to eat veal!
nice to talk to you again!
give your mom a hug!...god bless!..love terry

12:27 PM  
Blogger Terry said...

how are you doing june?
hope everything is all right with you and your family....love terry

7:23 AM  
Blogger akumangkok said...

Hi Terry,
I am doing fine but its peak period at work and I am way too busy to blog.
Laters.

June

6:09 PM  

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