D mess
When I first met JAR, he was quite a mess.
He was just about to go through a divorce and unfortunately for him it would take many years to complete.
Then I thought he was probably never going to come of it and be truly happy.
Luckily I was wrong.
He sought help, went for theraphy, got his finances straightened (took a while), the rebuild his assets and is now quite financially secured.
Emotionally he has matured and developed himself to a point I know I can always depend on him.
JAR is proof that there is a BETTER life after a bad divorce.
This year I got to know another new friend who has already been divorced for a few years.
Unlike JAR, I think he still has not overcome the pain of the divorce.
He has never been to theraphy and he builds walls around himself for protection.
I have seen flashes of him minus the walls and he really is a great guy without it. However right at this point of his life he feels safer being alone and removing those whom he actually likes being with.
The pain of divorce must really affect people deeply, even those macho looking guys....but I think they only really affect the nice guys the most; the ones who had thought he had found true love and life partners but then were disappointed to find that they had married just images of what they thought they had.
He has a demanding job so his stress levels are of course mostly on the high side.
I hope this friend will soon find his way out of the maze I think he partly created for himself.
It will not be easy to be his friend cos there are times when he just hides behind himself and that normally will turn friends off.
Having gone through the process with JAR, maybe I grew an area of patience in one part of my heart so I am not as easily turned away - for now at least :-)
He was just about to go through a divorce and unfortunately for him it would take many years to complete.
Then I thought he was probably never going to come of it and be truly happy.
Luckily I was wrong.
He sought help, went for theraphy, got his finances straightened (took a while), the rebuild his assets and is now quite financially secured.
Emotionally he has matured and developed himself to a point I know I can always depend on him.
JAR is proof that there is a BETTER life after a bad divorce.
This year I got to know another new friend who has already been divorced for a few years.
Unlike JAR, I think he still has not overcome the pain of the divorce.
He has never been to theraphy and he builds walls around himself for protection.
I have seen flashes of him minus the walls and he really is a great guy without it. However right at this point of his life he feels safer being alone and removing those whom he actually likes being with.
The pain of divorce must really affect people deeply, even those macho looking guys....but I think they only really affect the nice guys the most; the ones who had thought he had found true love and life partners but then were disappointed to find that they had married just images of what they thought they had.
He has a demanding job so his stress levels are of course mostly on the high side.
I hope this friend will soon find his way out of the maze I think he partly created for himself.
It will not be easy to be his friend cos there are times when he just hides behind himself and that normally will turn friends off.
Having gone through the process with JAR, maybe I grew an area of patience in one part of my heart so I am not as easily turned away - for now at least :-)
posted by akumangkok at
3:14 PM
2 Comments:
wasn't it just something that god put you in the way for jar?..just to encourage him and giving him you to confide in?
i just don't understand women who vow to be faithful to a guy til death do them part and then give the guy such a hard time!
the other guy that you are talking about junie, just might need some more time til he is straightened out.
it took my brother, gary quite awhile but now he seems to be ok.
the funny thing is with his situation of debbie leaving and taking the three babies with her, when they got to be young teenagers, they all wanted to move back with their dad and so they did!
god bless you this weekend dear junie of the kind and compassionate heart. jar is so fortunate to have such a sweet girl on his side!....love terry
Hi Terry!
Its so good to have u back.I hope ur Mom Golden is feeling better.
I actually smiled when I read u describing me as 'sweet' cos in reality I am hardly that :-)
I appreciate u telling me about ur brother Gary's story. My own brother is also facing some marital problems right now. I know that it CAN have a hapy ending, somehow.
My new friend has already been divorced more than 5 years. I think JAR really did the right thing by going into theraphy early. It was difficult for him at first but he came out brilliantly!
U know, people who seem to be in 'need' of me mostly come from foreign lands and religion. God works in unknown ways, doesnt He?
Take care.
Junea
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