Lump

Today I really needed this blog.
So much is happening and it will determine how the future will be.
I discovered a lump on my right breast two weeks ago.
Not my first lump. I found one on my left breast over a decade ago.
The doctor then told me to wait till after my period to see its development and then see her again.
After my period, the lump kinda disappeared and I did not go to the doctor.
This time I did the same thing. Waited till my period was over to go see the doctor.
The lump remained so to the doctor I went.
She found two lumps one and a half centimeters in diameter.
She recommended that I do a mammogram and a biopsy.
I immediately went to the Xray specialist for my very first mammogram.
They squeeze your breast and take xrays from the top and side.
A friend once told me that it hurts but for me it was a very minor pain.
The xray specialist doctor was not in but the xray technician took the xrays .
She ((technician) recommended that I come for an ultra sound next week when I come to collect the doctor's report.
First family member I text to was my second sister who is an anesthetist (specialist doctor) and consultant in a teaching hospital. From her I learnt that she had actually had a lump removed from her breast several years ago (none of us knew about it!) She continues to have several cyst on her breast but they are not a worrying factor. She just goes for mammograms every year to keep them in check. It really helps me talking to my sister. She was able to make me worry less about my situation. She says that I am prolly similar to her case. I hope so.
Next person I told was my mom, even tho I did not want to worry her.
However I need her prayers for me so I figured I should tell her.
I know she is very concerned even tho we both try to keep a normal front.
Next I emailed JAR. I should have called to tell him personally on the phone but I am not able to find the correct words or tone of voice. I am still not.
However, in my heart I am ready to let everyone I care for be free of me so that it will be easier for both them and me.
I told my youngest brother and sister in law next. They live with my mom so I needed to tell them so my mom could talk to them if she needed to. If she has to keep it a secret it might turn out stressful for her.
We all went out for brunch on Saturday. We tried a new German place where I shared a ribs plate with my SIL, brother had a tenderloin steak, mom had chicken. We share some ice cream too. It was a satisfying meal. Havent had one for quite a while. We shall return to this new place.
None of us talked about my situation. I am glad. It felt like a normal meal that we normally have.
Next week I shall have a busy week at work but I shall try to fit in some doctor's visits.
Second sis will help to arrange for me to meet the specialist at her hospital.
I need to get my ultra sound and doctor's reportss on it and the mammogram.
Its a trying weekend.
Yet I am happy inside.
I actually feel ready to go if God wants me now but I am asking him for some time to get my stuff in order.
I shall need to see a lawyer to make a will. Maybe that will be after the doctors.
I still havent told my eldest sister and other brother.
Yup, I have alot to do.