Polygamy

People of other cultures do not understand the polygamous life Muslims are allowed to have.
A Muslim man may have up to four wives if he is able to afford and be fair (this meaning more than just being able to afford in terms of finances but also in his ability to deliver other physical requirements that a man is to give his wife). He must be fair to all his wives.
There are other cultures like the Christian Mormons who also practice polygamy but they often take more than the 4 allowed to a Muslim.

Personally I think that only a man with the qualities close to a prophet is able to be really 'fair' when he has more than one woman.
I suppose there are some good points that those pro-polygamy can highlight but let them write in their own blog about it.

In my father's family where my grandparents had six sons and three daughters, polygamy is frowned upon.
I have relatives who have wed again and again but only after they divorce the previous partner or death had taken the previous partner.
I love that my dad's family has those views and I hope it follows thru the next generations.

My mom has only one living brother now.
Her eldest sister has passed on in childbirth leaving four children.
Her younger sister died in childhood.
This blog is about my mom's brother (mostly).

My uncle had married a beautiful long haired (previously) Christian lady who converted and became a very good Muslim lady.
She gave up her job and her family to come live here.
They have 3 daughters.
After a few years of married life, my uncle probably had an itch and got involved with a divorcee who had two children of her own.
He married the second woman and had two daughters with her.
My poor first aunt was frustrated and spent many phone calls complaining to my mom (poor mom had to listen and listen...). The situation hurt my aunt and she became a bitter person.
Her three girls faired no better.....children are more perceptive and sensitive in situations like this.
They had a high ranking govt official for a dad but they were not able to achieve good academic performances thus did not get good degrees and well paying jobs later in life.
My aunt (prolly due to stress) developed bone cancer and passed on almost 5 years ago.

My uncle never admitted or introduced his second wife to my mom all those years.
He pretends that he had only one family.
He is otherwise a good brother to my mom, and they even had properties and a joint ownership of a business.
The second wife was trying to get recognition from my mom (Mom is like the matriarch of her family cos she is the eldest surviving child).
It was pitiful yet irritating.

Now my uncle has finally introduced his only surviving wife to my mom.
Life goes on.

I still find it hard to accept the 'new' wife.
I remember the beautiful first wife when I first saw her when she first arrived here to marry my uncle. I am so glad that she got to be a good Muslim and hung on to religion during those trying years.
I have to accept the change that time brings us.
I have 2 new cousins as well as the 3 girl cousins from my uncle.

I haven't finished writing about polygamy.
This is a true story about a polyamous marriage where there was no fairness for the wives and the children.

I remember my dad and I appreciate the values I was taught about marriage and love.
I love u dad.

Footnote:
When JAR first heard about polygamy being allowed, he gave a cheeky smile, saying that it sounds like an interesting situation.....I responded by saying 'Yeah, sure.....but only after I am dead.'
Even the prophet was true to his wife Khadijah and he was married only to her alone throughout her life.