Wednesday, November 21, 2007

blocked blog

I haven't updated by blog for a while cos its been soooooooo hard getting on to this page! What an excuse but there it is , really!
I could log in but the new post page was almost beyond reach....until today.

Work is going at a good speed. Only a few meetings left to go before I can take my vacation time.
I need the space to recuperate.

Hope to meet JAR next week.
So many thoughts on my mind. Still unable to write them down yet. Maybe never.

Friday, November 02, 2007

lining

Its so true that every cloud has its silver lining.
I have been having a few tough weeks recently.
Its of course busy time at work. I work till my back aches and my mind tires itself out. Thats o.k. cos I still enjoy what I do.
My face is slowly (read: VERY slowly) improving with the so called improved products. I am over the anxious period of making checking the pigmentation reduction (if any) the first agenda of my mornings.
I scratched my car driving the many corners of my condo car park....I did however, discover a good car spray painting shop in the process. (Being me, I just drove and drove thru unfamiliar territory looking for one. I had lost the phone number and address of the last one that I had gone to years ago. That is, of course, courtesy of me having my phone LCD connection going bonkers resulting in me losing many many precious phone numbers. And yes, I did not store a copy of them on my computer).
The saddest and most troublesome part of my problems was a comment made by my sisters about my connection with JAR. I know that they did it out of concern but hey! I am past being a teenager or a twenty year old. I should be living my life the way I choose to.
My eldest sister had a very typical goody-goody life. Married in her twenties (to someone a little younger - THAT I think is the only 'out-of-the-regular-in society' feature of her life). She had two kids, house with the picket fence, three cars, everything religiously in accordance to what society dictates.
My second sister has a very successful career, being the intelligent one of the family. She married in her thirties to a successful guy who climbed the heights of the corporate ladder. They have their handsome three sons and will live out their lives richly ever after.
That puts me as the single one. The funny and playful aunt who is financially stable, gives loads of presents to everyone. I enjoy my life and thought that I had most things in place.
I do not live similar lives to my sisters but I do fine.
To my eyes. Apparently.
JAR has been there for me. Especially when my dad died and I lost the main male influence of my life. Dad had been sick for years and 'chatting' with JAR during those times helped me maintain my sanity over 'losing' my dad.
What I have with JAR has evolved over the years. It went from being ecstatic to pain to sadness to growing up to deeper contentment.
I dont want to lose this special friend.
My family is important to me. I value their views.
I will visit JAR (maybe for a final goodbye) soon. How do I do this? Maybe I need to hear JAR's views.
Where is the silver lining, u may ask. Its the even deeper connection we have both gotten since this hooo haa began.