Later its better

Having a great time after a long time. It does pay to persevere.
Making what seems like difficult decisions because u are walking away from what felt like a good time but what u know is just really a waste of ur precious time.
Hang on to what is REALLY u and not what is an image of u.

Yes, a little while later, the pay-out arrives.
The peace and tranquility is very calming.
U did right.
:-D

Pain sufferers

Life really is too short but sometimes, thank goodness that it is.
I met my cousin over the weekend and asked her about her Alzheimer suffering mom.
There is never a happy ending for those afflicted by the disease.
They just deteriorate.
This continues until death comes and the pain is gone.
Who suffers the pain?
I used to think that the patients do but maybe I was wrong.
When they deteriorate, they seem to go into another world.
Not knowing who their loved ones are and later also not knowing who they themselves are.
There probably is no pain there for them.
Just a new other world.
Meanwhile, their loved ones suffer day-by-day.
Living with a familiar face and body but not with the same person inside it.
The pain becomes unbearable.
My cousin was/is no angel.
But I have to give due respect to her for taking care of my poor aunt.
I have heard people say that when one suffers much in this world, it is probably because it cleanses u for the next one.
I'd like to believe that my dear aunt is being cleansed.
Sometimes u feel the pain for someone who does not even know that they are suffering.
Am I too being cleansed in the process?

Me-No-Pause

I have been super busy at work and that is a blessing.
When u r busy, u do not have the time or inclination to think or worry about why supposedly good friends behave in a manner that so make u want them out of ur lives (see previous blog write-up).
But of course being human, there is still those times when u take a pause from what u r busy doing and sadly enuff ur mind wonders to the very points that u have avoided.

Anyways, it may seem like things r the same; it may seem like I am still there; it may seem like I am ok with all the behaviors of my insensitive 'friends' but honestly I am not.
Every day I take a little independent step away. A tiny step at a time.
It will not be noticeable. By intent.
Soon I will be ready to go (to where I have asked God time and time again to where I shall be fully appreciated).
Not too long now.