busy, tired and irritable

I have been busy at work for the past days.
Its peak period again.
Never mind, work hard, play hard.

The weekends are good.
Mom is in good health (touch wood!) and we make lots of shopping trips.
Then I also get to go around with the little nieces.
It continues to surprise me how someone (s) so little can bring so much joy.

Its always so hard for me to say goodbye to the little ones when the weekend is over.
Being kids, they prolly get over saying goodbye much easier than their aunt.
This weekend Litttle A is having a sports carnival at her pre school.
I cant go. I have to work.
Its such a terrible deal.

Being so busy also resulted in me not keeping in touch.
But to be truthful, I should only be given half the blame.
The other party also has the same resposibility to keep me updated.
My only worry is that the silence is due to some bad news - an illness, a problem, etc
I hope it all works out soon,
I dont want to pick a fight cos most days I am too tired from all the heavy schedules.
A tired me is an irritable me.

Name

Beyonce wants to be known by her new name. Sasha Fierce.

Yuks.

I prefer her Beyonce name.....its more unusual from where I stand.

Have u ever in ur life wanted a different name?

At one phase of growing up I did.

My real name is so from a past era than that I was born.

My dad selected it for me.

He even selected the nick name with which I eventually became known as.

Until many cousins do not even know what my real name is.

My nick name is so unique.

I do not know of anyone who has that name at all.

However whlist I was growing up I wanted a more 'hip' name.

Something more in with my age group.

It did not happen.

Then years went by and the internet came into being.

I discovered that u needed a name to be on the chat rooms or to have an email addy.

I could rename myself.

I had a few nicks but basically kept using the same one.

To be known u needed to stick to one nick.

Like in real life.

Otherwise u'd have to begin all over again, reintroducing urself each time.

The funny thing about being online was u could be anybody.

U could have a new BODY too if u wanted.

Some folks went by sexy names and pictured themselves as Marilyn Monroes.

Nobody (except some idiots) were fooled.

In that sense I kept on being myself.

Not some artificial sexy whore.

Otherwise I wouldnt have made so many good friends out there.

Now I love my name.

I love my unusual nick name even more.

Those were given to me by my late dad.

They are special.

I am my names.

Kitchen

See these kitchens?

Which one do u like?

One is mine.

One is JAR's

The rest are just pics from the internet.

Ever since I lived in my condo, my kitchen has been quite the center of my operations.

I do a reasonable amount of work there.

Funny, cos prior to this I only visited my mom's kitchen when hunger strikes.

I enjoy cooking especially when feeling a little hungry.

The anticipation of producing something delicious helps improve the result.

I remember the time when I approached the interior designer to design my kitchen.

I just knew where I wanted the main things to be....stove, oven, microwave, fridge, sink.

It was he who thought of the other details.

The finished product was good enough for the designer (who got my permission) to show case my condo to potential clients.

Yup, my kitchen looked good even when it was empty of foodstuff and apparatus.

Now my kitchen is mostly equipped.

I have spent months buying stuff like bowls, glasses, pans, every possible equipment I need or might need in my quest to become a cook.

Its not yet completed.

Everytime I have guests I discover the need for another apparatus.

I love my kitchen.

I wouldnt want it any other way....for right now!

Nightmarish start

I was looking for a place to vacation in December. There's a Lake up North that I thought was worth visiting with friends. I searched the web and got a fancy smansy page about it. I emailed the contact number since the calendar of events on the website was 2003. I asked for latest info and prices. No replies. Then I searched the net further. I found another page. It said that the place was closed until further notice.

I did not give up.

There's another Lake up east. (hehe...whats with me and Lakes this vacation eh? Ahhh I am just at the dreaming stage. Maybe its beaches, mountains, sea, etc next). I looked again at the internet for anything on it. Pictures, hotels, spas, reviews, etc. Its also next to a national forest. Even better. Animals as well nearby. Maybe this one?

I decided to check out for more info via a chat online that an agency has.

Here's our conversation (not verbatim but u'll get the drift).

moron agent: Hi my name is Oli. How may i help u?

me: Hi. I need some info on interesting places to visit with my American friends in December. They've already been to XX, YY and ZZ. I'd like the latest info on Lake North.

moron agent: Can u tell me the dates of their visit?

me : Its not confirmed yet but the approximate dates are in early December to mid December.

moron agent : How many visitors will there be?

me : (getting irritated) Look. U are asking me questions that are not relevant as yet. And u have NOT answered any of my questions.

moron agent : (looooong pause). I need the info to check the availability of the hotels.

me: (waiting)

moron agent : One moment please.

me : (yeah....for u to get to hell)

moron agent : pleasse go to Hotel KKK website in XX

me : (finally had it) Look! U have not answered ANY of my questions. U have looked for a hotel in the very place that I said my friends have ALREADY visited. This service is a waste of time!!!

Yes I was more than irritated. They had the nerve to ask me to fill up a form about their service right after I signed off from the chat room. I did fill in that form with my HONEST opinion on their service.

What a start to my dreaming of my December vacation!

Relive or not?

If I could live my life all over again, would I have any of it different?
A different job? How different?
A different group of friends?
A different family?
A different love?

I would want some of it to be different.
A more exciting job that makes me actually rich by the time I retire.
If I had known that what I do becomes repetitive over the years (even with the changes of Law and Statute), I wouldnt do what it is I actually do now.
Of course I have my blessful, exciting moments in my job.
But then there are many blah moments too.
I am well paid but I will prolly never make it on to 'the richest list'.

Yes, I would like a different group of friends who stick by me to the death.
Not ones that sometimes turn against me especially when I am not looking.
I would want many more friends to actually stick by me from my college/ uni days.
They are prolly the best types of friends to have. More honest and sincere.
I have lost touch with so many. Some forever cos they are now dead.

I would not change my family.
Even with all the ups and downs (believe me, there has been so MANY downs), I wouldnt trade the people I was given as family by God / nature.
As I get older, I tend to appreciate them more. The newer members have given me the ability to love in a way I did not know I had in me.
Prolly I get to be a better person as I grow older.
Prolly I am just getting older.

A different love?
Well, I know I deserve to be loved in the way I want to be loved.
Thre must be someone out there that God/ nature has intended for me.
Maybe I have to go through the pain to meeting all the wrong loves in order to be ready for the right one.
I need to be able to detect the right one when he comes along.
When he comes along.
If he has already come along.

photo me, cyber me and real me

Anyone who reads this blog and observes will note that I change the identification photos rather often. Why?
They might also notice that the photo never truly show a picture of the author. Why?

Photos are so misleading.
It tells u how u look at one moment in time.
I always tend to look my worst (or so I believe) in identification photos.
Driver's licence, passport, what have you's.
Once upon a time they had our pics pasted on the credit cards. I wonder why they stopped doing that when it was prolly a high level deterent to credit card fraud. And those were the days before the gas stations had the credit card slot thingy at the pump. I am told that credit card theives usually use the stolen credit cards at the gas stations most.
I remember that I actually looked pretty good on the credit card photo. Maybe thats another reason I wish they still maintained that practice.

Many hearts have been broken from the usage of fake photos on the internet.
Some people have the audacity to place photos of others (pretty movie stars, pop stars of the place they come from) and then claim it to be theirs. And some stupid fool who desire physical beauty will respond to the former all cos of some silly photo. Hint: if u see a pic of a well porportioned extra goodlooking person taken with very good lighting.....then just assume that its a photo of someone who is too busy to be on the internet looking for love or friends.

JAR and I have differing views on this. His pic is all over the net. Its as though he has nothing to be afraid of. Maybe its a guy thing. I dont know how many friends he made who responded based on his pic. The main thing is how many will follow thru to real life.
I actually enjoy talking to people on the net without knowing how they look like.
Of course during those early internet days when we had MIRC programs, there were many chat nights. I made many friends there. I knew of their hopes, problems, happy times, adventures, etc.
Some I never knew what they actually looked like. They all never know what I look like. But many knew me. The inner me.
In real life I need to have a persona for my work life. The formal me.
I have a more relaxed anf freer me for home.
My cyber me is somewhere in between.

health update

I am down with a sore throat that makes waking up such a pain, a running nose that turns my voice very much like Nanny Fran from The Nanny show (see pic) that was popular a decade ago, and a cough that disturbs my audience in a lecture.

I am just taking some medications bought from the pharmacy. It seems too minor to go see a doctor and btw I still have not gotten me a new doctor since I moved to the condo. My old doctor is where my mom lives and thats an hour's drive away.

Anyone who knows me know that I hate to go see a doctor, dentist or any medical professional. I actually have to practice before hand what I would be saying to them. Doctors have a wierd way of telling u that the needle wont hurt, that the pain will go away, etc as though they have actually personally suffered it themselves. And many times they lie.

I have a friend who believes in letting the body heal itself. when her kids fall ill she doesnt give them medications. She eats organic food. I think she is both smart and silly at the same time. Yes, the body needs to be self healing but we are not Claire as in the Heros TV show. Up to a point we need help that comes in the form of medications.

On the work front, things are moving on cruise level. I still get stuff done even with my health level being on the low end.

On the home front, I have been keeping low at the condo. Just getting everyday stuff done and resting to regain my strength. Havent visited mom and the kids for fear of spreading the germs.

O yeah....one interesting story. I have previously mentioned that I dont know many people at the condo. We all seem to live our own lives at our own schedules. There's this lady who seem to leave for work at the same time I do.....which is very early in the mornings. We seem to bump to each other and smile and say hello. This morning she was earlier than me and she drove by as i was walking towards my car......she stopped and asked me about my going out so early. That was nice of her. Maybe I will have a friend there soon?

week of fun

What a wonderful week!
Most of the family were also off from work and we had a great get together over several days.
We got to meet several cousins and aunts whom we generally dont see during the year.
My aunt who has alzheimer's still recognises me and my siblings but according to her daughter she has started doing 'funny' stuff like hiding kitchen appliances in her bedroom. It frightens me to think how one could be afficted and then live long lives not knowing who one is.

I had spent about a week at my mom's. Then she followed me home to spend two nights at the condo. Actually my niece also came along but she had to follow my sister home as she had left an important file which contained her study notes. So the swimming extragavanza planned with my niece and nephews did not take place; instead we all feasted on food that my mom had brought along.
Its good to spend time with my mom. We had our shopping expeditions

On the last day of my break, I came down with a cold and sore throat. My voice is still sounding 'sexy' right now. I still have a headache and my nose runs.
However, this is a small price to pay for a week long fun time!