Hanging in there.

Its been quite a while since I last blogged.
Many developments here. Its not that I have been too busy but more that I have not had the mood to blog. Instead I concentrated on my Facebook entries.

My mom's health has taken a few bad turns this year.
She had her dengue episode in June requiring her to be in the ICU for days.
Latest is she has been having dizzy spells and a loss of balance. It has even given her a phobia about lying down. She prefers to sit, stand and walk even to the point of having swollen feet.
I had to drive her to the emergency room at the private hospital on one Friday night.
That Monday my eldest sister had to take her to the E&T specialist who confirmed an ear infection.
Her medications for thyroid is also probably at fault too.
She still has not fully recovered and it pains me to see her looking old and weak.
I am lucky that I have siblings with whom I can share all these sad painful experiences.
It really helps to know that u are not alone.
Sometimes I feel deep sadness but I always know that what I am going thru is nothing compared to the pain that is probably hurting some one else.

I am also pained by the happenings in my brother's marriage.
However, with the passing of time, we (as in my mom and me and even my brother) feel that there is a reason for all of this. God tests us all and we just need to be strong, not hurt any one with intention. The pain will be removed and there will be many good that will come soon enough.

I have to be optimistic and will be planning happy activities to counter the sad ones.
In fact I already get so much good outcomes from my FB connections already.
Blessings.

Puppy Love

H was JAR's cute Bichon Frise little puppy when I visited him the first time many years ago.
When JAR went to work I had H and Smb the parrot to keep me company.
H would follow me everywhere. JAR had H all dressed up for my visit. I think I remember H wearing ribbons for that visit.
H was so lovable.
As a Muslim, dogs are considered an 'unclean' animal. If u touch one when it is wet, u are required to cleans that part that touched it first with clean soil and then with six washes of water.
But in this day and age they have in the market soap products specially made for this purpose. Its clay based soap and u can cleans urself as u normally would. Wallla, its all so easy.
I had no problems with H even though initially I was quite wary.
I just spoke to the little puppy in my native language, telling it that "dry is ok, wet is not'.
It was like it understood me (as did all of BRB's dogs too).
Somehow I never got any dog saliva on me or got touched when the dogs were wet.
Anyways now I also travel with the clay soap which is recommended for such cleasing.

The story of H had a tragic ending.
Apparently S, JAR's ex visited the then family home sometime during the divorce proceedings.
The poor unhappy woman was in a rush I suppose and somehow she ran over the little puppy with her car.
JAR was devastated at the loss.
He buried H in the garden of the huge house that had so many bitter and sad memories.
It was weird cos on that day (I was in my own country) I had this sudden sense of JAR needing me and I called him on the phone. There he told me about the sad loss.

For many years JAR lived with just Smb the parrot and thought many times about getting a new puppy.
I did not encourage him to do so cos I really do not like the thought of animals in cages (even though Smb had a huge one).
I told JAR that with his current lifestyle of travelling a lot and working all day, it would not be fair to leave a little puppy all alone in the house. Smb is an old soul of a parrot and is able to keep itself company, mimicking the TV and JAR's voice all day. But a new puppy? It would be at a loss.

A few weeks ago JAR told me about a cute puppy he saw at the pet store.
He visited the puppy several times (as I encouraged him to do)
Two days ago, he took the puppy home.
I am happy for JAR cos I know some lost part of him is now getting fulfilled.
I did 'interrogate' JAR about how he would make sure that the puppy gets taken care of.
But I told him that now he has made a major decision, he/we need to deal with it.
JAR leave for more places before the year ends, the next one in just a week's time.
Little puppy will be taken care of my a friendly neighbour who has also cared for Smb when JAR is away.
The little puppy is in many ways lucky.....it will definitely be loved and cared for.
And JAR will also be lucky cos Puppy's love is back in his life!

D mess

When I first met JAR, he was quite a mess.
He was just about to go through a divorce and unfortunately for him it would take many years to complete.
Then I thought he was probably never going to come of it and be truly happy.
Luckily I was wrong.
He sought help, went for theraphy, got his finances straightened (took a while), the rebuild his assets and is now quite financially secured.
Emotionally he has matured and developed himself to a point I know I can always depend on him.
JAR is proof that there is a BETTER life after a bad divorce.

This year I got to know another new friend who has already been divorced for a few years.
Unlike JAR, I think he still has not overcome the pain of the divorce.
He has never been to theraphy and he builds walls around himself for protection.
I have seen flashes of him minus the walls and he really is a great guy without it. However right at this point of his life he feels safer being alone and removing those whom he actually likes being with.
The pain of divorce must really affect people deeply, even those macho looking guys....but I think they only really affect the nice guys the most; the ones who had thought he had found true love and life partners but then were disappointed to find that they had married just images of what they thought they had.
He has a demanding job so his stress levels are of course mostly on the high side.
I hope this friend will soon find his way out of the maze I think he partly created for himself.
It will not be easy to be his friend cos there are times when he just hides behind himself and that normally will turn friends off.
Having gone through the process with JAR, maybe I grew an area of patience in one part of my heart so I am not as easily turned away - for now at least :-)