Wondering about 'strangers'

U develop 'ties' with strangers when u regularly read their blogs.
They don't even know u did the reading or if u even exist.
Sometimes u take a step further by commenting and they may respond or they do not.
But most of the time it is 'silent reading' that u do.
U return regularly for some, once in a while for others, and maybe it is a one-off visit.
For blogs that are about their families, u start to 'know' the characters.
Almost like 'watching' soap operas on TV.

When the authors take a break, u start to wonder if all is fine in their lives.
Some breaks are so long that after a while, u tend to forget about the blog totally.
For those whom u have sort of communicated with, the wondering lasts longer.
U go back ever so often, hoping that they write something.
Just so that u know that everything is fine in their lives.

I used to check in the blog a lady who had a family that lived in Japan, then Australia.
They had a son and she wrote interesting stuff about her present life.
Then she mentioned that she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis or some disabling disease.
She started to write about her past a lot.
Her writings reduced and then nothing was written.
I used to check in once in a while.
Then I bought a new net-book and did not bookmark her page.
With so much going on in my own life, I had forgotten about her even.
Until today, when I started to write this.
I wonder what happened to her.
She does not even know me but her writings are so good that I felt I shared her experiences as she wrote them.
I hope she is fine.

I also wonder about people who visit my blog.
The ones who do so without communicating with me.
Did they even wonder about me when I took a break for my surgery?
I believe that there are regular visitors.
It is easy to trace if ur blog is being read but u cannot (at least not at my level) detect who actually reads ur blog.

There is another week of work to go before we take a break for the festivities here.
After that it will be serious-work time.
Probably no time then to wonder about stuff like this.
:-)

Birthdays and connections

Had a great birthday this year.
I have many family members and friends whose birthdays also fall very close to my birth date.
We all had a great time on FB wishing and teasing each other almost throughout the week.
In fact there are even those whom I have not personally met but are connected to people close to me and we all connected through FB, then we find that we all almost share birth dates too.
Yes, sometimes it feels like I have neglected my blog in favor of FB.

But I have not.
This blog cannot be replaced by FB where it is mostly making connections and inter acting with others.
Here I am allowed to express myself; sometimes even express my pains.
And here anonymity is the key word here.
The intention here is NOT about making connections, yet I have :-)

Happy birthday to all of us for this year.

Interchanging Names

Over here, there is a use of fruits to name-call people who appear to prefer the western way of life rather than their own ethnic traditions.
'Bananas' are used to describe people of Chinese origins (yellow on the outside, white on the inside) and 'Mangosteen' to describe people of Indian origins (dark on the outside, white on the inside).
Personally, I think people adopt ways of other societies because they find it preferable to what their own had ( which may be a right or wrong decision) and over time, if many of them do the same, then that behavior later becomes an accepted practice of that society.

If people have been called the name of fruits, I have also witnessed fruits being called a people name.
I was at the supermarket the other day when a 'Mangosteen' woman passed by, pushing her trolley. She then called out to the mom, a more traditional older woman who was pushing another trolley.
"Here mom, here is the Yusuf Taiyoob. Let's get the Yusuf Taiyoob"
No, the supermarket was not selling men of Arabic origins!
It was a brand of imported dates which are particularly delicious!

Names have been used to describe people of foreign origins too.
'John' or 'Mat Salleh' are used to describe a man of Caucasian origins.
'Mat Indon' is used to describe a man of Indonesian origins.
'Apek' is for those with Chinese origins while 'Mamak' for those with Indian origins.

'Mat' is a common Malay name, a sort of shortened version of 'Muhammad' and is often used in most descriptions. The female name used is 'Minah'
Names like 'Mat Rempit' (for males) and 'Minah Rempit' are used to describe the kids who race their bikes on the streets.
'Mat Kilang' is for the guys who work in the factories. 'Minah Kilang' being the female version.

Names are considered very important in the Malay society where new parents will search the books for Muslim names with good meanings for their babies.
However, the common practice is to call the child a shortened, simpler version of the names for everyday use. Maybe, without realizing it, they also change the meanings of the names in the process?

Family update

When my brother decided to divorce, we (my mom and other siblings) were very worried.
We have never had a divorce in our immediate family. When there is a problem (as all marriages will encounter), we work it through.
Maybe we did not realize at that point that the problems faced by my brother were different from those that other family members had.

It is now 4 months after the divorce.
It took almost as long for the ex to leave what is once our family home.
For a woman who WANTED the divorce, it sure took her a long time to leave a house that also houses her ex-mother-in-law (not a typical MIL, mom is such a giving person)
Things have settled somewhat.
They have agreed on joint custody of the kids (that is normally the best of a lousy arrangement for the kids, I believe)

My brother seems happier now (who wouldn't if u had a wife who thinks that money is the most important thing in life; she was also borrowing all over the place (which poor bro only found out when she failed to make the payments) If u look at her and what she wears, u'd think she has a great job and a big bank account. Actually she had even cleaned out her kids' accounts, borrowed from her MIL and SIL without paying a cent!
She thought that by mixing with some 'rich' people, somehow she would get rich by the association.
It will never be.
Bro once remarked that when u have cancer tissues, it needs to be removed and u begin a new life after that.
But let's forget about her and her issues. She probably need psychiatric help sometime.

The kids have their good and bad days and we have to understand.
They seem generally happy but of course, some part of them must hurt.
They are all even closer to me than before.
Their family are standing with them through thick and thin.
They need lots of hugs and reminders that they continue to be loved.

We are all becoming stronger and happier after this major happening in the family.

One last word about the ex SIL though.
Now that she has moved out, she very often comes (un-invited) for dinner!
Jeez!