a trailer?

Once we were on our way to somewhere
We were late ; it was getting dark
It was winter and the snow was deep
There were no one else on the road
There wasnt very far more to go
Then we saw the sign
No wonder not many cars were going the same way
The road ahead was closed
It was dark
There was light from some buildings we had passed awhile back
We turned the car; heading for the buildings
Yes there was light
But no one answered our calls
The buildings were used by the rangers
But no one was there cos the road was closed
We decided to turn back
Saw a car on the road
We stopped the driver
He told us about the road closure due to the weather
Drove back 50 kilometers
It was late
Got to a motel
Rested the night
Took an alternative route the next day
Arrived happy, safe (though slower) and sound.

Was this experience a trailer to our current life's decision?

How to make urself feel good

Step 1 - Go for a makeover. Or at the very least get some new makeup product and experiment! U could end up looking better that u thought u could!

Step 2 - Go for a family picnic at the nearest water hole or beach. Get wet! Play with the little ones. When u are having fun, u'll look and feel a million years younger

This weekend I shall be attempting step 2.

I have graduated step 1. Have been receiving many compliments about looking better.

Why worry?!!!

When there's nothing u can do in a situation, then do the above!

Stressing myself out would be the stupidest move I could make. I have given my best and if thats not good enuff, well.....too bad, so sad but I wont get mad!

Focusing on whats going right is my life is a process of being thankful to God.

Physically, I have recovered and am doing great.

Mentally, I am ahead of the game.

Financially, my bank account has never looked better.

Emotionally, I am keeping check.

another passing of a weekend

Saturday, after grocery shopping and breakfast, it was time to go clean my condo. Yup I am like the maid service to the place. I get to clean it then go away again and return when its time to clean again. There is however a very satisfying feeling that I get upon completion of vacuming or moping or toilet cleaning my own place. I get to sweat like I would in a gym. I feel healthier after the process too.

Sunday we decided to have lunch at a cousin's new retaurant in the next town. Its a quaint place and serves a variety of foods. Western, eastern, quite delicious too. Cousin decided that we should NOT pay for this first visit as a sign of his respect for my mom. Isnt that wonderful?

Then we all (mom, sil, nieces, maid) decided to spend sometime resting at my clean condo. The kids had a fun time jumping on the beds.

Soon my weekend is gone and its Sunday night now.

Another week has come and gone.

I am glad everyone of importance to me has had a healthy week.

Yet a part of me also wished that more had been accomplished and decided. Oh well who knows? .....maybe THIS week?

ahead

As the days pass, I keep wondering if the changes that we hope for will ever be.

Both JAR and I seemed to be 'tested' on our health this year. Minor ailments such as the flu, a cough, a cold started the year. Then it progressed to more trying conditions such as the eyes, the UTI, the chest, etc. The worst, however is over and we look forwards to healthier times ahead.

Whilst all this is going on, JAR is also fighting his demons....brought about by a past partner who is a bipolar. I could do nothing to help him with this. It was not just because of our physical distance but there are some things you have to personally conquer. Some days I felt so helpless. Other days I even got angry. Why do I have to face this when it wasnt my act that created this? Why could he not be a stronger person and differentiate the possible future to be a thing apart from the horrible past? Those days I was glad of the physical distance. I could concentrate on my own life in peace.

Initially I was also bothered by my family's expectations. We have not gotten anyone in the immediate family (read siblings; many cousins/uncles have already done so) marrying someone outside our culture. Things we take for granted turns out to be something that requires a three page explaination when the potential partner is a foreigner.

The paper work and procedures required initially overwhelmed me. All that stress probably contributed to quite a bit of my poor health this year.

Three months into the new year and I dont think we have done much in terms of preparation. JAR is still in twilight zone though he does attempt to come out of it once a while. I feel very alone at times.

Other times however, I feel very blessed with what I do have. Compared to many I have so much to look forwards to.

The future holds so many promises no matter which road I take.

I could remain where I am and still there will be changes. My place of residence will change; my focus will probably be just my life.

If JAR snaps out of it in time (before I give up on him; which may be sooner than what we both expect), then my life will also change. There will be new variables and I then become part of a different world from what I know it as is today.

face and nose

Today marks a month since I started using the Third Edition of the face products. Yesterday I got my first compliment. SIL and I were chatting at the kitchen table and she remarked that my pigmentation has lightened. My face at that time was scrubbed clean.Yes!!!
Actually about three days ago I felt that my skin's pigmented areas had lightened enough for me just to use a light round of loose powder and not any foundation/cover-up before going out.
The first edition of the product was eaxtremely fast working. I remembered how eager I was to get up in the mornings just to see my clearer' face in the mirror. The downside of it was it made my skin too dry and the 'peeling' process becomes unhealthy when it happens ever so often.
The second edition was a waste of time. It made my pigmentation return with a vengance. I dont understand why the company produced that though their clients who had skin conditions other than pigmentation remained quite happy.
This third edition works on a slower pace when compared with the first edition. It took me almost three weeks to notice the changes. The upside of it is my skin remains in good condition (no major peeling sessions, no excessive dryness) whilst the changes takes place.
Maybe soon I will want to keep looking in the mirror in the mornings?

On the family end, a brother of mine had an operation to remove some blockage in his nose yesterday. It did not make him look any better (we all teased him about getting a 'nose-job').

On the health front, I have improved tremendously. Soon I will be able to carry the babies again. I have refrained from doing so for a bit. They dont always understand why recently their aunt would only hug them only.

BTW out of curiousity, is ANYbody out there reading this blog? Send me a comment other than spam. Thanks!

Busy weekend

I had a busy weekend.
I worked Saturday and was only done at 11.30pm. Then I got up at 5am on Sunday to complete the rest of the project in the house. Boy! Was I exhausted!
Later that day, my eldest sister took me,my mom and my youngest brother's family and her family out to lunch to celebrate her birthday. That was fun! We had various meats, sea food,etc at the local Grill. I love it when we get to binge on FOOD. I love ribs or steaks but chose to have Teriyaki chicken. I am reducing my red meat intake for now. Some part of me thinks that's part of my health recovery plan.
On the health front I am improving by leaps and bounds. I ache less and my chest does not hurt the way it did last week. My doctor diagnosed it as costochondritis which is a condition that causes chest pain due to inflammation of the cartilage and bones in the chest wall. I just need to let my body cure itself, surviving on pain killers in the process. I can live with that thought. Of course I did fear if it was a more serious ailment. Thank God, I am on the road to recovery.

The pic above is Bunny....JAR's travelling companion. It is one bunny rabbit that has been around the world; posing in various places. JAR gave me its twin and little niece A also got one cos she used to want to play with mine when she was a baby.

I am happier this week. Mainly cos of my health improvements plus the fact that most of the stress I faced in work and otherwise has been reduced. Looking forwards to a great week!

Life sails on

Pain or no pain, as long as u have life in your body, u move onwards..........
The good thing about hanging on when things are bad is that each day as u wake up, u feel (how ever little) the tiny improvements from the day before.
I get up in the mornings thinking "Thank God! Today I feel less ache!"

On the family front, my youngest brother is thinking of buying over the family bungalow.
At the moment it houses me and my mom whilst he and his family stays nearby in an apartment. I kinda like the idea that one of the siblings takes over the ownership of the family house built by my dad. At the moment the house is owned by all the siblings plus my mom. Thats how my dad divided his property before his death. Fair and square. The only problem with that is when everybody grows up and have their own families, the ownership becomes diluted. Normally the property gets sold and divided up. Its better if it gets sold and yet we all get to visit it as often as we like!

I grew up in that house. I spent my rebellious teen years there. I cried my tears for whatever the reason of the moment in my bedroom in that house. I laughed a million laughters there too. Maybe soon I will have no more reason to live there. Then the move to my condo will be a reality. No more weekend/holiday home in the condo. It will be real everyday living there next.
Oh oh...I may have overshot my thoughts here. Brother has not yet officially proposed the purchase as yet. But he is serious about it. I am glad. I want my little nieces to grow up in a house that has a lovely garden and not some penthouse in the sky. Maybe they'll cry their tears and laugh their laughters in the very room their aunt did.

Pain in the chest

Have u ever felt ur body slowly giving up on u?

Its scary but this last week I have had the UTI problem. That has cleared.

This week I began to have chest pains....my chest feels like some giant had stepped on it during my sleep and he left a print of pain as his footstep.

The pain covers the center half of my right breast. At first I thought that my sleeping bra was mishappen and was the cause of the discomfort. It was not.

Now the pain is no longer as intense but I am not yet free from it.

My normal reaction to being ill is to be quiet. I remember when I was in hospital a while ago, my doctor sister commented to her doctor friends that I do NOT complain.

I worry that if I get worse, I would be unable to live as I have. I have often told my mom that in death, I ask God to take me quickly and not let me suffer any illness before He does so. I saw my dad being ill for years. Not only are u in pain, but u also put ur loved ones thru a difficult time as well.

I need more time to assess how bad the situation is. I saw my doctor and he has given me some medications. If the pain remains, the next step is to do an ECG.